Today I did, in fact, have a dream, a rather frightening one. In my dream, my family seem to be on holiday somewhere. Mikey and I decide to sleep in my father's room because we are worried that he may start sleepwalking. We are in one large bed and my father is sleeping behind a partition.

So, in the middle of my dream, I wake up (still in the dream) and I see that my father is wandering around, muttering "red wine, red wine." He has moved towards a huge kitchen counter with a gigantic refrigerator behind it, more like an industrial sized storage unit with row upon row of bottles of wine.

Suddenly I am outside the bedroom. A door is flung wide open and an old woman whose face is painted bright blue and yellow is cackling hideously. The doorway seems to open out into a kind of primordial forest. Terrified, I step away. I find myself in another room. Two mafiosi are in the room, and the taller, fatter one seems to be their leader. "We have you now!" he is shouting. "We shall violate you in every way!" He advances towards me with his arms swinging and I feel a hand over my face, choking, strangling — except then I wake up to find my own hand is covering my own face.… but at first I think it is an alien hand...